


Badnatured and Foulmouthed

by goodloser



Category: Transformers - All Media Types, Transformers Generation One
Genre: Canon Compliant, Canon-Typical Violence, Comedy, Crushes, Friendship, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-29
Updated: 2020-01-29
Packaged: 2021-02-24 16:53:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,474
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22461334
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/goodloser/pseuds/goodloser
Summary: Megatron’s reply came tired. Soundwave, watching, was reminded of a weary father. “Yes, Blitzwing?”“You should have a go at me!”-- In which Blitzwing is an idiot and the Decepticons just have to put up with it.
Relationships: Astrotrain/Blitzwing, blitzwing/rumble
Comments: 2
Kudos: 20





	1. Chapter 1

Blitzwing was an oaf. Everyone knew this and everyone accepted this, even the begrudging likes of self-proclaimed brutes Frenzy and Rumble who quickly warmed to the likes of him; like attracts like. The trio would party into the early morning, sometimes with Ravage there to keep watch that they weren’t killing themselves — a decent babysitter for the adult children.

But no one could’ve seen (Soundwave maybe) just how much of an oaf Blitzwing could be.

“Hey Lord Megatron,” he said one night, shortly after a meeting. His churlish voice rang out in its usual growl. Starscream of all people scowled; Blitzwing was clumsy and the kind of liability the Air Command did _not_ need in his opinion, although Megatron seemed to disagree.

Megatron’s reply came tired. Soundwave, watching, was reminded of a weary father. “Yes, Blitzwing?”

“You should have a go at me!”

The usually-busy post-meeting now went very silent. Rumble and Frenzy traded looks.

Megatron’s scowl was permanent, but even they could see the lines in it. “Do you mean… sex or a fight? Out with it, fool.”

Blitzwing waved his hands. His grin was happy-go-lucky. It would’ve been sad to see. “Both is good! Either! You’re pretty hot, but I wanna wrestle too.”

“Go bother Astrotrain, Blitzwing, I don’t have time for this.”

“Hold on! Wait —” He drew his stupid sword he loved to wave around for some reason and charged. Not with ill intent, but charged nonetheless.

Megatron jumped and was about to transform, but thought better of it; Blitzwing on his feet was slow and untrained compared to his tank alt. Megatron swiped at his legs and he tripped, the oaf indeed.

Skywarp snickered.

“Blitzwing, you have just attacked your Lord and Commander. Soundwave, arrange some fitting punishment; maybe schooling is in order. And throw your cassettes out there too. They’ve been getting… rowdy.”

So that was how through his own ridiculous actions, Blitzwing was in the sea beneath the Decepticon tower, plucking barnacles with his best buds and grumbling.

“Blitzwing! You bucket!” Rumble whined and kicked Blitzwing’s legs, though he was more playful than angry. “Why’d you have to go and get us mixed up in this?”

“That wasn’t _me_ , that was Lord Megatron… Sides, you never wanted to frag him? Is that what you’re sayin’?”

“ _No way_. Ugh, my type is more…” (Frenzy nudged him and giggled.) “Well, y’know.”

“No I don’t. It ain’t any of the Seekers, is it? I’m about to lose all respect for you.”

“It ain’t. Well, Thundercracker is pretty hot too, but I like bigger guys.”

“You sure?” Blitzwing looked at him with a surprise. “You ain’t gonna break, are you?”

“Come on, you know me. I’m tough as nails.” He smacked Blitzwing’s ankle again.

“My type’s just… anyone I guess. I ain’t messy. Unless it’s Astrotrain on a bad day, slag that.”

“I think minibots are cute. Ain’t into that much prep,” Frenzy chimed up.

Blitzwing snorted and toed Rumble with his feet. “Look at you, size queen.”

Rumble tried to throw a barnacle. It drifted lazily through the current and nudged off Blitzwing’s arm.

Frenzy decided to take the time to comm Soundwave out of boredom; _[Barnacle duty is the worst, boss, why’d you do us dirty like that?]_

_[Correction: Frenzy and Rumble got off lightly. Interjection: Better than cleaning septic tanks.]_

Well, _that_ was true.

_[How’s ol’ Megs?]_

_[Status: Amused.]_

“Soundwave says the big guy is laughing his aft of.” Frenzy rolled his eyes with equal amusement. “You’re crazy, Blitzwing.”

“I ain’t know what I done wrong or nothing.”

“If you wanted to spike down, you could’ve just bothered Astrotrain like he said so.”

“Spike? Frenzy, I am a _total_ bottom.”

Rumble went very stiff and gasped silently. He gulped in a load of seawater and started coughing. Blitzwing noticed and patted him on the back with clumsy concern.

“You ain’t the only one around here,” Frenzy muttered with a smirk. He didn’t bother turning to his brother.

Once Rumble had forced the appropriate amount of water out of his tanks, he said in disbelief, “Astrotrain _tops?”_

“Uhh, yeah. He’s huge, heh.” Blitzwing swiped at a bead of drool at his mouth. Since they were underwater, this was not necessary. “Hmm. Maybe I will after all.”

“Why don’t you get with a _real_ mech,” Rumble laughed — over-the-top smug to hide the fact he was blushing. He wolf whistled. “Hotpiece, show me what that chassis does.”

“Rumble, I’ll probably crush you. An’ that’s the _last_ thing I wanna do.”

“Can’t you size shift down?”

“Can’t _you_ size shift _up?”_

“I like bein’ small, you know that.”

There was a woosh of water and Blitzwing glanced beside him at the heavy, large mass now descending into the water next to them. Astrotrain was glaring.

“Slag it, I hate all this water crap. Opposite of space or whatever.”

Blitzwing cooed. “Are you joinin’ us?”

“Just seein’ how you’re doin’. Megatron wants to call a logistic meeting.”

He groaned in exaggeration. “I _hate_ logistics.”

“‘Cuz you ain’t so full up there.” Astrotrain clonked on his head. He could’ve sworn it made the dull sound of an empty bell.

“Back off, pinhead.”

“What’s wrong? Your little tiff with Megatron getting you down?” Astrotrain chuckled and grabbed a soft hold on Blitzwing’s hips from behind. He drew their bodies closer, pulling Blitzwing away from the side of the tower.

Blitzwing grumbled and muttered a curse.

One of Astrotrain’s servos dug into the seam at Blitzwing’s panel, the other one moving up to caress his tank cannon. Rumble was trying extremely hard not to stare at this display, but especially _not_ that tank cannon, something he’d always wanted to do.

“Sheesh. Get a room, you two,” Frenzy said, and catcalled.

“Mm, maybe we will. Blitzwing?”

“Get lost, you dunce. I’m not in the mood anymore.”

“Haha. Did I really slag you off?”

“Yeah! Get off before I throw these shell things at you. Do Rumble and Frenzy need to be at the meeting, too?”

“Nah, they ain’t worth the scrap they’re made of.”

Rumble took out how piledrivers, but there was no need, because by this point Blitzwing had turned around and thrown a slow punch through the water. Yes, the sea was frustratingly slow, but Astrotrain hadn’t seen it coming and it smooshed his cheek with an “Oof!”

“You big load! Don’t talk about them like that!”

The cassettes were taken aback and shared another look with each other.

Astrotrain was grinning, and he wiped his cheek. “Hah! I hurt your little feelsie-weelsies?”

“I’m gonna hurt _your_ feelsie-weelsies in a fraggin’ second.”

Blitzwing threw another blow and it was easily stopped by Astrotrain’s larger hands. “You’re so small.”

The ground was rumbling as the two, already large for their framed-giants began trying to throw blows underwater.

“I’m a tank. A _tank_. And a jet. I ain’t takin’ it from a fraggin’ train.”

“Oh, you weren’t complainin’ about takin’ it last morning.”

“You miss me that bad already? Stupid afthole.”

Astrotrain grabbed his wing and forced him up against the tower. Blitzwing growled, grabbing the edge of Astrotrain’s wing in return, crunching the metal.

“Hey guys? How are we getting out of here if your engines are waterlogged—” Frenzy began, to little avail.

Now Blitzwing was ringing Astrotrain’s neck, their chests clanking together to produce dull, metalling noises.

And then the two idiots mashed their lips together in a grinding mess.

“Quit it, you two dolts! You wanna turn up to Megatron and explain you were just fragging?”

That got them to stop and they both fixed Frenzy with a look that would’ve been comical. Astrotrain coughed into his hand and pushed himself off. Blitzwing looked like he was about to launch off another insult, but in a rare act of wisdom, he kept it to himself.

“Now. You _idiots._ How are we all gettin’ back up top?”

* * *

“Do _not_ break the ration rules this week,” Megatron had growled. He threw a particularly pointed look at Rumble and Frenzy who’d decided to crash the party regardless.

Blitzwing was sat beside Astrotrain, a surprisingly serious look on his face. He jumped when his name was mentioned.

“Finally, Blitzwing, if you _really_ feel the need to proposition me, I suggest you have something to bring to the plate.”

He stood up and saluted. “Lord Megatron, sir! I can take it! I’m one of your biggest soldiers, sir!”

Megatron eyed him over. Blitzwing couldn’t tell if it was with contempt or laughter. With his trine, Starscream’s irritation was obvious from his curled lip and red-hot EM field, something Megatron was _clearly_ ignoring or relishing in or both. Of all people to upset their delicate dynamic, it was _Blitzwing?_ Starscream couldn’t believe he had to deal with this scrap.

“Very well. Perhaps I’ll take you up on that offer some time.”


	2. Relationship Chart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I did a quick doodle of their relationship chaos with blitzy around

**Author's Note:**

> thank u for reading i love g1 blitzwing so much and so here is my contribution to the blitzwing1 fandom


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